The ‘girl crush’ is the latest phenomenon in the world of relationships, says a report.The term is new, the concept old. Say ‘girl crush’ and people may think of an unconventional, sexual relationship. But the ‘crush’ in this case doesn’t make one weak-kneed. It refers to a situation in which one woman admires the other in a way that she wants to become like her. It’s both non-sexual and aspirational; something that every woman has experienced at some point. Women, especially young women, have always had such feelings of adoration for each other. Social scientists suspect such emotions are part of women's nature, feelings that evolution may have favored because they helped women bond with one another and work cooperatively. What's new is the current generation's willingness to express their ardor frankly. It’s about being in complete awe, of either a woman’s persona or her appearance and achievements, which leads to idolising her or imbibing her peculiarities in either a conscious or an unconscious way. With young girls, it starts typically at school where they develop a soft corner for either the house captain or the class topper. Model Dipannita Sharma agrees, adding, “I was in a girls school and I have seen both sides of the equation. There were girls who were my fans, and there were a few seniors I looked up to. The girl I admired was not just popular and outgoing but also had the same interests as I did. But I could never muster enough courage to go and say ‘hello’ to her. You can’t be friendly with someone you’re a fan of.” Psychologists suggest that a woman could idolise another from the same social circuit. Yet there’s something about them that sets them apart and makes them unapproachable and distant. It’s only in rare cases that they become close to you.
"Historically, talking about these kinds of feelings has gone in and out of fashion," said Paula J. Caplan, a sociologist who this fall will teach a course about the psychology of sex and gender at Harvard. Women have not been this blunt in expressing their crushes for several generations, Dr. Caplan said. The phenomenon has been little studied, but some social scientists say they are glad that it is being discussed more, because it can be a window into how women mature emotionally.
But when that ‘someone’ is a celebrity, it could turn into serious obsession. Which is why so many young girls emulate everything about their favourite stars. But with time and maturity they grow out of it. In some cases, a real life interaction with some of their idols also helps break the bubble. Says author Anita Nair, “I grew up on the works of author Fay Weldon. She’s a Booker prize winner and a brilliant writer; someone I truly admired. But when I met her I discovered that she wasn’t really a brilliant conversationalist. But I guess we expect too much out of writers, and that isn’t fair,” she remarks.
(source- Times of India and NY Times
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